For Fun Photo

[snowy]

i can see members of this forum reading this & smiling!!!

ooohhhhhhhhhhh

[Guest CS]

Little Johnny and His bike!!

 

Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.  His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. 'Mum, I want a bike for my birthday'.

 

Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker.  He had been in trouble at

school and at home. Johnny's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Johnny, of course, thought he did. Johnny's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his Behaviour over the last year, and write a letter to God, and tell

Him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.  Little Johnny stormed

upstairs to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

 

LETTER 1:

Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike

for my birthday. I want a red one.  Your friend, Johnny.

 

Johnny knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this

year, so he tore up the letter and started again.

 

LETTER 2:

 

Dear God, This is your friend Johnny.  I have been a pretty good boy

this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.  Thank you,

Johnny.

 

Johnny knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started

again.

 

LETTER 3:

 

Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red

bike for my birthday.  Your friend, Johnny.

 

 

Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either.  Johnny was

very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to

church.  Johnny's mother thought her plan had worked because Johnny looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner", his mother said.

 

Johnny walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He

looked around to see if anyone was there.  He picked up a statue of the

Virgin Mary.  He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church,

down the street, into his house and up to his room.

 

He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a

pen. Johnny began to write his letter to God.

 

LETTER 4:

 

I'VE GOT YOUR MUM.  IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE ******* BIKE.

 

Signed

YOU KNOW WHO

[THE FIFER]

A NUN IN A TAXI

 

cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.

 

She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

 

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

 

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: first, you have to be single and second, you must be Catholic.'

 

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!'

 

The nun says 'OK, pull into the next alley.'

 

He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child, said the nun,   why are you crying?'

 

'Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

 

The nun says, 'That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party.'

 

someone looking for nuns on the for sale and wanter post.

 

[Guest CS]

Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go.

Jon was called into the doctor's office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Jon said, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What if I poked out both of your eyes?"

"I'd be completely blind." The doctor got up, shook his hand and told him he was free.

On Jon's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Dave. He told him what questions were going to be asked, and told him the answers. Dave was called in. The doctor went through the formalities and asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"

Dave, remembering what Jon said was the correct answer, he said, "I'd be half blind."

The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut off both of your ears?"

"I'd be completely blind." Dave answered.

"Dave, can you explain how you'd be blind?"

"My hat would fall over my eyes."