drivers

[Fife_pigeon_wife]

  

 

Indicating gives away your next move. A real Fife driver never indicates.

 

Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you & the car in front.. somebody else may try & fill it.

 

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit!

 

Braking's to be done as hard & as late as possible to ensure your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.

 

For those without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.. learn to swerve abruptly.

 

Fife's the home of High-Speed Slalom Driving thanks to Fife Council, who put potholes in key locations to test drivers reflexes & keep them on their toes.

 

Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

 

Never take a green light at face value. Always look right & left before proceeding!

 

Real Fife women drivers can put on a pair of tights & apply mascara on the outside lane of Queensferry Rd at 50 mph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

 

Real Fife male drivers can remove tights & a bra on the outside lane of Queensferry Rd at 50mph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

 

Heavy fog , rain & snow are no reasons to drive UNDER the speed limits. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring that Dod's Garage in Kincorth has plenty of work all year round.

 

There's a common held belief in Fife that highspeed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front!

 

Look out for cars with 'Kids on Board' signs on the rear window, entertain the kiddies by baring your ass & driving up so close to the car you see the whites of the kids eyes. Don't worry how scared the kids look.. it's only a game!!

 

Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one way street!

 

Drive illegally in all of our many bus lanes.

 

It's ok when driving in Fife to air your grievances at bad drivers by giving the "one finger salute" while screaming out "*expletive removed*". But it's imperative you're driving at least a 5 litre V8 with a

crowbar in your lap

[PIGEONJIMI]

Ha Ha and for Fife you can replace with' Curry mile in Rusholme Manchester'

[Guest]

;D ;D ;Di wondered why real male Fife drivers on the Queensferry road were wearing bra & tights anyway ?? ;D ;D ;D                         andy.